Sorrow Filled Thoughts
by Mrs.DimitriBelikov287
Summary: ONE-SHOT WARNING:BLOOD PROMISE AND SHADOW KISS SPOILERS! After Dimitri is turned Strigoi what are his thoughts as he watches her on the street,before he captures her.


**Richelle Mead owns all the characters…I don't own anything. Song that inspired this little one-shot was "The Arms of Sorrow" By Killswitch Engage.**

I remember that day like it was yesterday. Rose's heart stopping scream, the strigoi biting me in the neck, and my life being ended in a matter of seconds. It was supposed to be the best day of my life, figuring out I could actually be with Rose the rest of my life and having the best night of my life with her. But something went wrong and our lives changed.

I made a mistake with Rose. I let her fall in love with me. If I would have been the responsible adult I should have been I would have left when I realized I was falling in love with her. I could have left and I wouldn't have caused her all this pain, she wouldn't have fallen in love with me. But a part of me, well the rational part, believes that I would have happened anyway. It was fate that we fell in love.

I can't put all the blame on her either, not that I do, but I let myself fall in love with her. I shouldn't have, it was wrong for so many reasons. She was seven years younger than me. I was her guardian mentor. And the most important one when we were both the princesses' guardians, I would throw myself in front of Rose not my charge. She couldn't die, I knew this was wrong and went against everything I was taught, but I couldn't help myself. I wanted something for myself for once. _Roza._

Now as I sit here thinking about the love of my life, dead inside, I hope that one day she'll come and fulfill her promise. I don't want to live in a world like this. I have a dhampir mind living in a strigoi body. It's like my mind is a prisoner in this stranger's body. Rose is the only thing that keeps me sane, well as sane as I can be.

The pain was like a thousand knives stabbing my undead heart as I sat there and just thought. The first time I saw her in the window and thought about how beautiful she was. The first training session. The first time we kissed under Victor Dashkovs lust charm, the way I held her and stared into her beautiful brown eyes. The way the look on her face when she realized that I was there for her no matter what. The time in Spokane when she looked so fragile and small after killing her first Strigoi. The look in the eyes when I told her I loved her and would never be able to love anyone else, I could tell she loved me just as much. The time on the plane when she started screaming because of her headache. And my most proud moment, when she finally pinned me down fair and square in the field experience when I fought her. The time when she almost killed Jesse and I pulled him away and brought her to the cabin. Wow the cabin…I can still remember that day like it was yesterday, I can still feel her warm arms around me and her wonderful brown eyes. And the worst memory I will remember until the day I'm killed. The look in the eyes of my beautiful _Roza_ as that strigoi bit into my neck and the heart shattering scream that she screamed. The look in her eyes showed pain, worry, love, passion, fright, and most of all sadness, she knew she probably wasn't going to see me ever again. That look will haunt me forever.

I looked down just as it starts to rain. If I could cry I would be crying right then, the pain I felt was so strong. I looked over to the apartment building I was sitting across the street from and saw the most beautiful person I had ever seen, _Roza_. I smiled for the first time in a long time. She had done what she promised me on the way to the mall, she was coming to kill me; she was coming to save my soul.

_Imprisoned, inside this mind__  
__hiding behind the empty smiles__  
__so simple (delinquish)__  
__isn't much made__  
__crawling back into the dark_

_running, always running, into the distance__  
__stop me before I bleed, again__  
__the echos of my voice__  
__follow me down__  
__the shadows I cast__  
__follow me down_

_deeper i'm falling__  
__into the arms of sorrow__  
__building decending__  
__into the arms of sorrow_

_there must be serenity_

_the echos of my voice__  
__follow me down__  
__the shadows I cast__  
__follow me down_

_deeper i'm falling__  
__into the arms of sorrow__  
__building decending__  
__into the arms of sorrow_

_the demons of my own design__  
__this horror not remain_

_deeper i'm falling__  
__into the arms of sorrow__  
__building decending__  
__into the arms of sorrow_

_there must be serenity__  
__there must be deleverance__  
__deeper i'm falling__  
__building decending_

**I hope it wasn't too bad, I don't think it was my best but I tried. Review PLZZ**


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